Here’s some things I’ve been watching with Orie:

Idiocracy - Watched it last night, and I thought that this movie is gonna be a total cult hit (”I’m gonna FUCK YOU ALL!”). I actually wanted to see this in the theatres, but right when it looked to release they decided to go straight to DVD. A shame. The movie was originally placed on my radar about a year ago or so because… OK, Luke Wilson is a handsome man, and I was checking on IMDB to see what else he was in.

Quick update on the Zatoichi project (watch all the Zatoichi movies that I possibly can, then rank them):

The multi-disk TV series is very satisfying. Many come right in at an hour, some a little more, and the stories are great and imaginitive. My favorite thusfar (only 5 stories in) is the 2nd one, IIRC:

Basically, Zatoichi is massaging the shoulders of this older woman, a local yakuza gang boss. A bunch of hired mercenaries announce their presence:

“Hello! We are a few ronin travellers. We mean no grudge against you, see, but these guys across town are giving us room, board and money, and asked that we come kill you (the old crimeboss lady and her son).  So… here we are. We apologize that this is happening, but we humbly request you come outside so that we can kill you.”

Well, the crime boss/lady reminded Zatoichi of his mom. Bad sign. He goes outside with the mother and promptly kills all the ronin.  Except for one. The ronin trips, and Zatoichi turns around to finish him off…

And that’s when the bell rings.  It’s 6:00. Zatoichi sheathes his sword and walks away, and the ronin knows he got off lucky.

Why?  Because that ring heralds the anniversary of his mother’s death.  For that day alone, he Will Not Draw Blood.

And it only gets more awesome from there.

That’s THIS ONE, for those with Netflix:
http://www.netflix.com/MovieDisplay?movieid=70040612

I recently watched Zatoichi in Desperation. I didn’t like it much at all, I think it is probably the worst of the movies I’ve seen thusfar. It has some good elements, and it’s definitely much darker than the other flicks, but I have to say it smells like they tried for 90s style Dark/Gothy but back in the 70s.  Among other things, there is:
* Psychadelic flashbacks of an old woman falling off a bridge
* A side-story of a young child and his young sister, both innocent, and horrible things happen to them and they die, without ever being part of the main story
* A gang of thugs molests and diddles the town retard, then beat him up when he ejaculates on them
On the other hand, it does have one of the BEST Zatoichi fights in any of the movies though. I’ll spoil it so you don’t have to go through the above:  Basically, the Bad Guy stabs a harpoon through both of Zatoichi’s hands, effectively fucking them up (”Put your hands on the table or this lady dies” sorts of things).  Then they let him go, so they can follow him and hunt him through the town.  Zatoichi effectively tears off the sleves of his robe, TIES his crippled hands to his sword, holds it in a really awkward way, yet still FUCKS. EVERYONE. UP.

Zatoichi’s Conspiracy, on the other hand, is awesome. http://www.netflix.com/MovieDisplay?movieid=70002454
Not “The Best Thusfar” (I think that will go to Zatoichi the Outlaw for now), but really sweet. Good story, hard moral choices, great battles.  Zatoichi the Outlaw has one element that I haven’t seen in any other Zatoichi flick, yet, and it’s great.

Basically, in all the other flicks, most of the underworld/yakuza (Zatoichi, too, is a member of the underworld) have “heard of Zatoichi”. Heard he was tough, etc, and usually recognize him before they fight.  However, they all fall back to “He’s just a blind guy, GET HIM!”

In Zatoichi the Outlaw, his reputation proceeds him in a way like in none of the other movies. Basically, he goes into a gambling den (as he does in well over half of his flicks, but IIRC he doesn’t do his Dice Trick to deceive the others… I can’t remember now), one where he knows he will eventually shake them down, get them to stop doing Bad Things.  A major boss character runs the den.  Eventually, someone puts two and two together, realizes that this guy must be “THAT Zato-no-Ichi”. EVERYONE gasps and draws back. Zatoichi gets up and starts a dangerous swagger, really playing up the idea that he is a Scary Fucking Badass (because… I mean hell, HE IS). No one screws with him, they let him pass without touching him, and basically spend the next scene cowering with fear (even the Boss) that Zatoichi is in town.

Frankly, it was a refreshing change of pace, and it was about time, too. He tears apart about a hundred dudes in every town he visits, and finally an evil badass boss treats Zatoichi with the amount of fear and respect that he should be getting in every episode. That was a pretty cool thing, IMO.

Anyway, more on the Zatoichi flicks later!

-Andy